Sadly, this tale is true.
There once was a mediocre employee who muddled her way thru her day.
She would facebook and myspace all of the way.
A certain band she would follow,
lost in her own wallow.
She dillied and dallied,
She never missed a lunch,
of this, I have a hunch.
She always left exactly on time,
not to ever put in one bit of overtime.
She was not a superstar employee, she wasn't the worst the bosses had ever seen,
this one just was not very keen.
The mediocre employee lacked drive,
She certainly never learned how to thrive.
A couple of superstars found other constellations to join,
Leaving gaping openings, and she thought maybe some coin.
She assumed her bosses had no other choice.
She sent a demanding email in a very snotty voice.
Give me a raise, I say.
Give me a raise, you must pay.
You have no choice,
but to hear my voice.
I want a raise starting today,
or I will go away.
You have no choice you see,
but to fork it over to me.
So the bosses thought about this over the night
the whole situation just didn't sit right.
The employee lacks talent, drive and tact.
We are not to be brought down, by this childish act.
The bosses thought, we do have a choice,
We won't hear her voice.
Potential employees they are plenty,
this is one is just too venty.
Off she goes, we hear her no more.
Off she goes, out the one way door.
The next morning the mediocre employee sat in confusion.
Do I have a contusion?
Where is my raise? What happened to my job?
I guess there was a choice,
I guess they heard my voice.
I wish I wasn't so loud, for then maybe,
just maybe I wouldn't be in this crowd.
The crowd of the unemployed,
the ones on hard luck,
the ones who would work so hard for a buck.
Jobs, they are elusive at this time.
Jobs, they are not available at the drop of a dime.
The mediocre employee tried to make a bet, but with a hand full of useless cards,
She had forgotten to be her own guard.
The bosses hand held a Royal flush including, of course, a Queen.
Now some of you may think this is mean,
but let it be a lesson,
that you should not go guessin',
unless you are ready to accept the concession.
Moral of the story: Don't send your bosses an email demanding a raise and not be prepared for the boss thanking you for your resignation.
